Wednesday's Blog .

  Helloooo . Well Jordan isn't here today . I am oh so sad . I AM NOT WORKING TODAY . I keep thinking about my MeMe again ! & I have no one too rant to . But last night I told Waffle & Jordan about it and gosh there just awesome friends (: Okay so Waffle said, " Oh Well Just Think About Positive Stuff And Try To Live Ur Life To The Fullest And Put All Those Bad Memories Aside (: " And he typed it just like that ! It made me smile :D And Jordan sent me this 3 page long message that I woke up to this morning And lemme tell you ! It was just great :)) It made my day ! Haha so Jordan when you read this, Thank You again :DD But yeah anyways last night I wrote my MeMe a letter . Gosh I cried the whole time I wrote it ! I keep thinking about her ... This is my first Christmas with out her here and shes just really been on my mind lately . In my letter i was like " I wish I would have hugged you when you left from the house, & I wish I would have told you I loved you " :\ I just really took her for granted . She was always there for my family . She would do anything for me . I just really didn't realize it until she was gone . I don't even know what to do with that letter ! On my desk i have this little compartment that has some Card's shes gotten me for my birthday, her glasses, her rosary, and a snow globe she got me like 3 years ago . I think I'll put it there but I dunno ... I have a feeling that this Christmas Is gonna suck . I'm gonna be thinking about her constantly . She was such an amazing person .. Like she really was . But like Jordan said In the letter, God won't put me anything through something he know I can't handle . So I just gotta suck It up & try to do this :\ Oh wow I wasn't really listening to these people's conversation & I heard " Black people can be British ." i think Deegan said It o__O Wow Haha that made me laugh (: Wow I don't even know ... It's gonna be hard to take Jordan and Waffle's advice . I'll laugh and try to be okay, but if your hurting on the inside you can't really do anything about It . Believe me I've tried . You can't pick which emotion your feeling . You can try but deep down if your sad , your sad . & The only thing that can heal It Is time I guess ? I dunno . /: I've lost some one before, my great grandma, but me & her didn't spend every single day together . And I was little when I lost her so I didn't really feel that sad . So I'm not sure how to get over this . She was such a unique person ! She was born and raised In France, & when she was 18 she met my grandpa (who passed away exactly 2 month's after she did), and they came to California, then to Amarillo, Then to Oklahoma, Than Back to California, & Back To Amarillo . A lot of moving huh ? Wow don't you hate it when your in that mood when everything pisses you off ??? Cause that's the mood I'm in right now and all I want is for people to stfu and let me blog in peace. -_- Like really !? No one cares if you have no respect for Michale or Raquel ! Just shut up ! Oh my god we DO NOT Want your effing life story ! God dang and he still won't shut up . I need some music with some really loud head phone's to block out the annoying noise of Quincy's faggot ass voice ! & there's still 10 minutes of class left . Okay Quincy No one wants to see you and your flabby arm's fist pump . Dang i have never noticed that Quincy will never shut up . & I Thought Me and Jordan were talkative but DANGGGGGG Nothing compared to this fool . I need some heavy effing medal to jam to . Or a fluffy effing pillow to squeeze cause that's what a bad mood I'm in ! I really wanna tell them to shutup, but he'd be like "YOU SAID YOU'D STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS !!!!!!!!" And all this and yes dumb ass we know nfl isn't a real word -______- That's why it's underlined in Red smart one . I Swear -.- I want a nap . I also want to go home and have some effing chick-fil-a ! Then my life would be sorta okay. But nope I have a wack mom who doesn't care about me enough to let me stay home from school even when I'm feeling like crap .